Being direct is more kind than the way most people deal with things.
Lets say being direct is compared to spanking.
I would argue that a parent who judiciously uses corporal punishment is a infinately more kind parent than one that doesn’t. example: Four year old runs out into traffic repeatedly. Parent chases them down and hauls them back. When they both calm down the parent explains that it is dangerous to run into traffic. Next day it happens again. This time the parent explains there will be a reason applied to the backside for the child not to do this again. Third day child starts to run into traffic parent catches them spanks them. Child never runs into traffic again.
Is this parent more kind or less than the parent that doesn’t spank.
Parent two threatens to spank and doesn’t, child learns not to respect the parent authority. Child reaches for a hot stove parent yells stop child burns their hand.
Parent three continues to explain that it is not a good idea to run into the street. Two weeks later parent watches child run into the street and gets squashed by a car. (Now thats what I call a spanking).
Which of the above is really acting as a parent?
I relate this to how people deal with their friends.
People see a friend doing something that is possibly harmful. Freind comes to someone says I am doing X which is self destructive and harmful. Friend replies with obfuscations, platitudes and niceties in order not to “hurt” their friend.
Is this really being a friend?
I know this is disjointed…..perhaps I should get a blog so I can just write about my feelings.
